"There is a goal, but no way; what we call a way is hesitation."
-Kafka


(Vilnius, right near where I stayed... The Gates of Dawn)

I just arrived in Tallin, Estonia. My friend Lydia, who graduated from Brown a year ago and is working at the embassy here for the summer, met me at the bus station. It's nice to be in a real apartment again with a kitchen and everything, since I've been pretty much staying in hostels since Berlin.

I quite enjoyed Poland and met a few interesting people along the way with whom I might meet up in Petersburg. So far I think my favorite Baltic city has been Vilnius, Lithuania. It was really lovely. Quirky architecture, gorgeous churches, wonderful little streets. I actually stayed in a former 17th c. monastery. Haha. The city has been dubbed the "Jerusalem of the North," as there used to be so many Jews there. Not so anymore. As is the case with most of the cities I visited.
Riga and Vilnius only really needed a day or afternoon to see, at least the old towns. Riga was alright, but it seems like too much of a stag party town. It's been relatively easy getting between cities, despite the widespread cancellation of trains in favor of a bus system through the Baltic states. From Warsaw it was a 9 hour night bus (no bathroom)to Vilnius. From Vilnius to Riga it was just 4 hours or so, and from Riga to here in Tallin about 4 and a half. Security has been minimal. Not once have I had to show my passport, even when crossing borders. Oh the EU. It makes both the US and Russia seem a bit crazed in comparison. I'm realizing even more this time around how much different Russia really is from the rest of Eastern Europe, which really does want to be Europe. I guess Ukraine was much closer to Russia, obviously, than the other places I went to.

I've been able to use a good amount of Russian to get around. In Vilnius I heard a lot of Russian. And in Riga almost half the population is Russian. All the menus were in Latvian, Russian, and English and I heard Russian everywhere. But many, many people, especially young people, speak excellent English (also in contrast to Russians). It's funny, but I feel more comfortable speaking in Russian than English right now, and I already seem to feel a shift in my thinking and am finding it a little more difficult to speak in English--which really shouldn't be the case since I've only been gone a couple of weeks. But I suppose I haven't really been interacting with all that many people. Vilnius and Riga were a bit lonely, I suppose. I didn't really talk to anyone in Vilnius, but it was nice that way. I like being on my own and taking my own time, and I don't really enjoy hostel culture. In Riga I talked to a few interesting people at the hostel, also in Krakow and Warsaw. A weird coincidence was I met this guy in the hostel in Warsaw who is an incoming prof at NYU, but knows a bunch of people I do, including Mari and Geoff, since he taught at Amherst last year. I overheard him saying he went to Reid College and asked if he knew my former RD from ACTR who went there. So crazy to have run into him so randomly. He actually applied for a job at Brown and so knows my profs there. And he was on the panel for Geoff's thesis. Oh the Slavic world...

But in general, I haven't met that many Americans, and most people seem kind of surprised to find an American traveling around Eastern Europe--surprised that one would actually leave their own country--especially alone, and being female. Haha. Can't say that Americans have the best reputation around here. Nevertheless, everyone has been nice and polite and seemed generally refreshed upon talking with me--an American. Ha.

At the moment I'm too exhausted to write much else about my travels thus far. I should have some free time in Petersburg once I get there. So far I don't think I've liked any of the cities I've been to this summer as much as I liked the places I visited last summer. I do like Berlin much more in retrospect than I did at the time. I think my expectations of the city were different. It's far more modern feeling than I expected, despite its historical status. Seeing the effects of both the Nazis and Soviets in such a palpable way, and on one city, was really fascinating. But still... I don't know if it was the places themselves, or my frame of mind or something, but no place has affected me as much as the cities last year, especially Budapest or places in Ukraine. For some reason my experiences were more intense, maybe because I'd also just come from Russia and the more "western" feel of these eastern European cities in comparison to Russia was quite pleasant. Whereas this time I came straight from the states. Who knows... But I am excited to be in Russia. I feel like I might've rushed through Poland and the Baltic states a little bit just because I miss Petersburg so much. I've been trying to slow down because I know that I will be back in Russia for the year. No city has compared to Petersburg. No country has compared with Russia. It's a bit startling how different it really is from everything else. Nothing and no one can replace it. I am thrilled to be back for my 3rd summer in a row of white nights. Crazy to think that around this time last year I was leaving Istanbul for Helsinki to get back to Petersburg--home. How much can change in a year--and another year, and another. I feel as if I am writing myself into the foundations of that city. But I will try to be patient and enjoy Tallin while I am here. Piter will wait.